Communicating Your Transition Through Text: A Guide for FTM Transgender Individuals
Whatever your reasons, the question of how to communicate your transition through text is a delicate one. The online platform, while convenient, doesn’t always provide the nuanced conversation typical of face-to-face communication. However, it is possible to convey your identity effectively and authentically, especially when you have time to reflect before responding.
Choosing the Right Approach
The approach you take depends on what you hope to achieve. If you wish to spark a meaningful discussion, you might lead with:
“Hey, do you have a moment to talk about something that’s really important to me?”
Alternatively, if your goal is to avoid an immediate conversation and create space for reflection, you might start with:
“I have something to tell you, but I don’t want to talk about it right now. I just want to get it out there, and we can discuss it later when you have some time to let it sink in.”
Straightforwardness and Authenticity
If you decide that divulging your identity is crucial, but you have no interest in discussing it any further, you can come out directly:
“Hi Great Aunt Patsy. I’m a guy now, and I’m just telling you that now because I don’t feel like discussing it over Thanksgiving Dinner. I’m not going to address it further now or ever.”
It is essential to be as clear as possible. The exact wording you choose will vary depending on the audience. If they lack familiarity with transgender individuals, it might take more explaining to ensure they understand your statement.
Expecting a Reaction
Once you've communicated your transition, the next step is to wait and observe the reaction. This can be uncomfortable, but it is crucial. If you are committed to communicating only through text, prepare yourself to handle the situation. You might want to ignore incoming phone calls or set up a soft block to avoid seeing notifications.
Empathetic Examples
Consider a scenario where you are already engaged in discussing a personal connection:
“Dear Julie, I know we’ve talked for quite some time and you have expressed that you find me an attractive man and really want to know me better. We’ve spent countless hours planning the vacations we’d take, the restaurants we’d visit, and the dreams we’d share together. I know that the secret to a lasting and passionate romance is that spark of the unknown and the sense that there are always little mysteries about the person you have yet to discover. Well, Julie, you’ll probably laugh but I have a little secret of my own. I think I should share…”
By framing it within a pre-existing conversation, you maintain a sense of continuity and genuine interest in your relationship. This approach can make the disclosure process more fluid and less jarring.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all method when it comes to communication. The key is to be genuine, respectful, and considerate of the feelings of those around you. Whether you are texting, calling, or meeting in person, the goal is to foster understanding and acceptance of your transition journey.