Handshake Etiquette: Understanding the Meanings Behind an Extra Hand

When someone places their other hand on top of your hand during a handshake, it can leave you wondering about the true meaning behind this gesture. This article explores the various interpretations of such a handshake and provides guidance on how to respond appropriately.

Interpreting the Gesture

A handshake involving an extra hand can convey different meanings depending on the context and the relationship between the individuals involved. Here’s a breakdown of several interpretations and appropriate responses:

Sign of Warmth or Intimacy

This gesture is often seen as a sign of warmth and friendliness or a desire to connect on a more personal level. It can be a subtle way to build rapport and establish a deeper connection. If you feel this is the case, you can respond by maintaining a friendly demeanor, smiling, and perhaps engaging in light conversation. This approach can help foster a positive and welcoming interaction.

Establishing Dominance or Control

Some individuals may interpret this gesture as an attempt to assert dominance or control. If you feel uncomfortable with the gesture, it is perfectly acceptable to remain composed and confident. You can gently pull your hand back to a more traditional handshake position without appearing confrontational. This can help maintain the balance of the interaction and ensure that it remains polite.

Cultural Context

In some cultures, placing a hand on top of the other during a handshake is a common practice and may signify a welcoming attitude. If you are familiar with the cultural norms, it is advisable to respond accordingly. This can help enhance mutual respect and understanding. Observing body language and the context of the interaction can also provide valuable insights into the meaning behind the gesture.

Personal Preference

If you find the gesture uncomfortable, it is entirely acceptable to gently disengage and return to a standard handshake. This shows that you value the comfort and boundaries of the other person, which can lead to a more positive and respectful interaction.

Personal Anecdote

I recall one instance that stands out from my experiences during a handshake. In 1996, in Sacramento, I remember a high-profile politician who made a rather aggressive handshake. Even though he was a well-known figure, I found his gesture to be unsettling. I felt compelled to step back and then yank my hand back, as it was clear that he was trying to assert dominance through the handshake.

On the other hand, I have never personally experienced a handshake with an extra hand, but I believe it could be a sign of sincerity and platonic affection. Such a gesture might indicate that the person is committed to following through with their agreement or that they genuinely appreciate having you as a friend or acquaintance. To me, it would be a very positive gesture.

Conclusion

Ultimately, your response to an extra hand during a handshake should align with your comfort level and the nature of your relationship with the person. Paying attention to their body language and the context of the interaction can guide your reaction. If you have any further questions about manners and etiquette, feel free to reach out to me via